Shape of My Chimeric Heart
by the Cheshire Cat
Summary: Just mushy or minor mushy crap. Zel/Lina pairings... weird though


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Shape of My Chimeric Heart  
Written by ^death^ a.k.a the girl with one too many nicks.  
  
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Disclaimer:  
Song by Backstreet Boys.  
Lyrics by them lorh, who else?  
Slayers belongs to... erm... who arr?   
All I know is that they don't belong to me and I don't gin profit from doing this.  
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Note: Words in [ ] are part of the song. The rest is the story. Sorry, I'm not very good in HTML. I find them tiring. Feh.  
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Zelgadiss Graywiers stood by the balcony. The champagne flute dangling between his stony digits. His sparkling blue eyes surveyed the sky. Stars, sprinkled here and there on a velvety black canvas.  
  
A lovely evening.  
  
Suited to a lovely occassion.  
  
Behind him, the party was in full swing.  
  
Prince Phil, ruler of Saillune, held a party to announce the engagement of his youngest daughter, Amelia Wil Teslune, to a prince of a nearby country. It was a grand affair, a masquerade ball that required the invitees to be clad in something rather than drabby evening wear.  
  
Amelia, 18, was dressed up as Cinderella. Her fiance, a tall and athletic male with a charming and disarming smile, was dressed as a pirate.   
  
Zelgadiss looked around and found Gourry Gabriev, a comrade in battle, in a corner with the young priestess named Syphiel. The chimera smiled to himself. Those two suited each other. His eyes scanned the crowd again, hoping to rest on a familiar mane of fiery red hair. But alas his efforts proved futile. Turning back to the stars, he lost his mind once again to the skies.  
  
[Baby]  
[Please try to forgive me]  
[Stay here, don't put out the glow]  
[Hold me now don't bother]  
[If every minute it makes me weaker]  
[You can't save me from the man that I've become]  
  
~* a while back *~  
  
"Still going to find a cure?"  
  
"You know that is my main purpose Lina."  
  
"Yeah... gues so. Boring old quest if you ask me. You know Zel, people don't really care if you're chimera or not."  
  
"People like you, Gourry and Amelia."  
  
"Most people are like the Jellyfish."  
  
"That would be the minority. There's still the majority to contend with."  
  
"Oh come on..."  
  
"Look Lina. It's -my- quest. I don't care if you find it boring or not. ou don't have to come, hell, I never even *asked* you to come. You just invited yourself along." the ruby red eyes watching him widened in amazement. Zelgadiss watched Lina's body tense for a brief moment and then relax.   
  
"Fine then. Good luck Zelgadiss. See you some other time... or not at all." came the cool response. Zelgadiss froze. What had he just done? He'd pushed away the one person who had accepted him as he was at first glance. The one person whom he got along very well. The one person who neither gushed over his looks nor found it repulsive to see. The one person whom... dare he even say it? The one person whom he liked.  
  
"L...Lina..." by that time, the familiar petite sorceress had vanished. Far from his sight. Alongside the almost well-known yet sadly brainless swordsmaster.  
  
[Oh yeah]  
  
~* present *~  
  
"Lina..." the petite sorceress was invited to the posh affair, but there was no sign of her as yet. Amelia wasn't bothered for she knew Lina would come. If not know... then later. Lina hated parties, or unless thay had a vast amount and variety of food. She'd probably drop in after the party.  
  
Gourry wasn't bothered either. So why do I feel irked? Zelgadiss narrowed his eyes and then set the flute on the sill. He rested his palms on the granite and leaned slightly forward, his eyes still focussed on the stars.  
  
He was told once, not too long ago, that sometimes life's answers was in the stars. He spent many a night gazing at the stars, wondering if it held the key to his cursed form. Then trying to decipher it. There were also nights of where he thought the stars were telling him to give it up. Stop this futile search and to instead settle down.  
  
He would... not too soon.  
  
After all, didn't he have forever to accomplish it?  
  
[Looking back on the things I've done]  
[I was trying to be someone]  
[I played my part]  
[Kept you in the dark]  
[Now let me show you the shape of my heart]  
  
The ballroom was suddenly silent for a moment, an occurence which tartled Zelgadiss. What happened?   
  
But as he turned his head, the music started up again and the silence was long forgotten. Curioity got the better of him and he entered back the ballroom, his wine glass long forgotten.  
  
Immediately, he was swarmed with guests in an assortment of costumes. From jellyfishes to minotaurs, and elves to divas.   
  
He had come as himself, after all, he was a freak of nature.  
  
"Heyo Zeldagiss." came a chirpy voice from behind.   
  
"Gourry..." the blue-eyed one nodded his head at the blonde. Gourry was dressed up, by Syphiel's orders, as a knight. It suited him. The metal armour, sword and that air of chivalry that he had around him.  
  
"Nice party huh?"  
  
"Yeah... nice."  
  
"Lina ain't here."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Wished Amelia congratulations?" Zelgadiss nodded his head.  
  
Congratulations on finding someone who would make her happy for the rest of her life. Congratulations to have finally found someone. Zelgadiss sighed and smiled.  
  
[Sadness is beautiful]  
[Loneliness is trying to call]  
[So build me]   
[I can't leave this for]  
  
She was late. Oh damn it. Stupid bandits. They wanted to play the game by their rules. Fine! She showed them she could play poker. Stripped them down to their bare essentials. And of their valuables.  
  
The pair of ruby eyes smiled to itself. Cursing the costume as she adjusted it, the eyes stood up straight and then headed into the ballroom. The party, as we all knew, was already in full swing.  
  
[Oh no]  
  
"Oh excuse me."  
  
"Pardon me."  
  
"Oh... err... can you move a bit?" cursing to herself again, the eyes finally found its target. She grinned victoriously to herself. Now all she needed was to cross the sea of many-people-dressed-up-as-things-I-cant-be-bothered-with and then she'd have accomplished her mission.  
  
The faster she completed her missions, the faster she could leave.  
  
She didn't want to risk meeting a certain someone.  
  
[Touch me now don't bother]  
[If every second it makes me weaker]  
[You can't save me from the man I've become]  
  
Zelgadiss looked up just as a latecomer entered the ball. He mentally shook his head. Pity Amelia was associated to people who had bad manners. Sneaking in without telling the princess of her arrival. He looked around to find a passing waiter and as he did so, got himself a new beverage.  
  
His eyes found the latecomer again and he was beginning to get suspicious of how strange the figure creeped and pushed people out of its way.  
  
"Hmm?" following the direction of where the stranger was heading, Zelgadiss realised that it was heading straight for Princess Amelia.  
  
What are you planning to do now stranger? Zelgadiss watched. He left his drink at a table and silently went in pursuit.  
  
[Looking back on the things I've done]  
[I was trying to be someone]  
[Played my part]  
[Kept you in the dark]  
[Now let me show you the shape of my heart]  
  
"Ergh... idiots. can't they like move or something?" the eyes shoved away a couple who were smooching each other. She shuddered. At least get a room.  
  
Rosy red lips curled upwards as they came inches from where the princess stood, talking to a few friends, her fiance standing by close guard. She was the look of bliss and happiness. Contentment too.  
  
Finally got over that grump, was the eye's only remark.  
  
A tap on her shoulder and the figure spun, only to find herself face to face the reason why she initially didn't want to come to the party.  
  
[I hear with my confession]  
[Got nothing to hide no more]  
[I don't know where to start]  
[But to show you the shape if my heart]  
  
"Lina?"  
  
"Zelgadiss." somehow her tone didn't sound quite as surprise nor enthusiastic as his. Zelgadiss looked at her up and down, taking in the fae-like dress that clung to her trim and lean figure. It even managed to accentuate what cleavage she had, making her seem far more ethereal than a real fairy. A pair of sheery translucent wings were on her back. The reason why he was unable to recognize her. They were in the way.  
  
Lina noted Zelgadiss still appeared the same. Well, almost. he was taller, more muscular and his skin colour seemed to be lighter than before. So he managed to find something that could alter his appearance ne? Well good for him. Inwardly though, Lina gasped as she saw this god-like male in front of her. His hand on her arm, gripping it lightly but firmly. She tore her gaze from him and look at where his arm was.  
  
Zelgadiss was still caught in initial shock. This... this was Lina. in the flesh. She looked the same... yet different at the same time. Her hair was no longer red and fiery, instead it was a deep brown that highlighted her eyes even more. Her height did not alter but her body had more curves than before.  
  
He followed her gaze and realised what she was looking at. Almost reluctantly, Zelgadiss released her arm.  
  
"It's been awhile." he finally spoke. Lina nodded, she was paying attention to her arm, rubbing it as though it hurt. But in actual fact, she savoured the brief contact, caressing her hand lightly.  
  
"Sorry if it hurt."  
  
"It's alright." saying that, she turned back to her point of destination, only to find Amelia at the other end of the room.  
  
"Can't she just stand still or something?" Lina growled. She heard Zelgadiss chuckle and then turned sharply to face him.   
  
"If it hadn't been for you, I would have reached her by now."  
  
"Why the hurry?"  
  
"I've got a boat to catch."  
  
"You're leaving so soon?" came another voice from behind the pair. Zelgadiss and Lina turned to see Amelia. The sorceress noted that the princess had grown. She was taller, and her frontal implements were larger than before. Curse her.  
  
Lina smiled at Amelia.  
  
"Miss Lina! You came!" Amelia Wil Teslune gave the dark-haired sorceresss a bone-crushing hug, her fiance smiling on. At Lina's chokes, Amelia released her and stepped back, her face beaming with joy.  
  
"Of course I did. I promised you now didn't I?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And if I didn't come, your father would have me hanged. Not taht it's anything I can't handle." Lina grinned.  
  
"But you're still leaving so early." Amelia whined.  
  
"I've got matters up in Zephkilia." she didn't bother to explain more.  
  
"Oh alright... at least dance once with Mr. Zelgadiss." Amelia gave Lina the pleading look. Lina was about to protest when she felt a hand on her back.  
  
It's the girl's night after all... might as well obey her puny little command.  
  
"Oh alright." she whirled around, her wings nearly smacking Amelia in the face and looked at Zelgadiss.  
  
"Come on. I haven't got all night." she mumbled and dragged the latter onto the floor. It had been awhile since she last dance. Make that a very long while. Lina wasn't sure she remembered the steps.  
  
"Just follow my lead." she head the chimera whisper in her ear. Mutely, Lina nodded her head. His hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders, Lina followed Zel, making sure not to lean into him.  
  
[On looking back on things I've done]  
[I never wanna play the same old part]  
[And keep you in the dark]  
[Now let me show you the shape of my heart]  
  
"Lina."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I want to apologize."  
  
"For what? For making me realize what a drag and bore I was? That I'm a natural trouble-maker? That I'm not a good enough friend?" Lina glowered and kept her attention on the knot on Zelgadiss's cloak.  
  
"For all that... and more."  
  
"Go ahead, I'm listening." Zel smiled to himself. This was the Lina he knew a long time ago. Bossy and demanding. If she truly had it her way, he would have been on his knees pleading forgiveness from her.  
  
"I'm sorry that I pushed you away then. I was... a self-absorbed freak."  
  
"You're not a freak..." Lina whispered softly, so soft Zelgadiss didn't catch it.   
  
"I was too caught up in wanting to reverse the curse Rezo put on me that i kinda lost track of what was around me. Instead of making myself human, I only managed to make myself more inhuman. By not... by not wanting help and instead, pushed it away." She could hear the regret in his voice.   
  
Zelgadiss was a man filled with pride. To suddenly see him humbled before Lina made the sorceress feel bad. But...  
  
"Lina I-" Zelgadiss clammed up as Lina pressed a finger to his lips.  
  
"You're sorry, I know. Now just shut up and dance. I want this to be done and over." Zelgadiss blinked and then nodded his head. He had done it, apologized. he should have felt better now, but he felt empty. So that was just it? One dance and she'd be out of his life again? No... this time he wasn't going to let her go.   
  
This time, he'd make sure she stayed.  
  
[Looking back on the things I've done]  
[I was trying to be someone]  
[Played my part]  
[Kept you in the dark]  
[Now let me show you the shape of my heart]  
  
Lina pulled her finger away just as the music ended and began another one. As much as she wanted to, she didn't want to leave. She wanted to stay, dance more, eat. At the mention of food, her empty-since-lunch stomach growled. Half the guests turned to look at her. Blushing madly she grinned at them and they returned back to dancing.  
  
Ah well... I'll go get take-out.  
  
Just as she was about to leave, a hand yanked her back. Squealing slightly, Lina found herself crushed to Zelgadiss's taut chest. his arms were around her, or embracing her even. And from the looks and feel of it, he definitely didn't want to let go.  
  
"Zelgadiss! What are you doing?!" Lina hissed sharply, a few couples around turned to look and she smiled warmly at them. They smiled back.  
  
[Looking back on the things I've done]  
[I was trying to be someone]  
[Played my part]  
[Kept you in the dark]  
[Now let me show you the shape of]  
  
"I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago." was the smooth reply. Lina thought her heart had melted to nothingness and then mustered up her dignity as best she could. Oh no... he wasn't going to make her fall for him again. Nope, no way.  
  
That was the feminist mind that told her that. The other rational part of her brain told her to just listen what he had to say... or even offer. After all, it couldn't be that bad now could it?  
  
"Fine. What is it?" Zelgadiss smirked and pulled her closer to him. She was soft, warm yet firm at the same time. Something he'd rarely found in women. Women... Lina as a women...   
  
He heard her gasp.   
  
"I'm not going to let you go." the body in his arms tensed and then it convulsed. Lina was... crying? Releasing her slightly, Zelgadiss looked down to see whhy the pretty maiden was crying.  
  
"Lina?"  
  
Why did he have to do it? Why? Why did he have to make her want him so much again? MEN!!!  
  
Lina looked up and Zelgadiss saw something flash in her ruby red eyes. Anger? Hurt? Denial? Before his mind could continue accessing other emotions, Lina was pushing at him and then she was out of hi grasp.  
  
"Lina... no..."  
  
[Show you]  
  
"Goodbye Zel..."  
  
[The shape]  
  
"Lina... don't..." his baritone voice fell on a retreating back. The glittery wings flared a little ad then vanished, obscured by couples ho had now taken up the space around him.  
  
[Of]  
  
You've done it again Graywiers. You've pushed her away.  
  
No! I didn't intend to do that!  
  
Lina!  
  
LINA!  
  
Li... na...  
  
I love you...  
  
[My heart...]  
  
Outside, Line Inverse shook her head, her face blank and impassive. She walked dead ahead, ignoring looks from passer bys and other couples who had wanted to watch the skyline.  
  
The waiting boat was but a lie...  
  
Where Lina will go, no one knows.  
  
But most probably to find a sanctuary, to heal a broken and near-shattered heart.  
  
Comments: Yup, give me reviews. I'm cruel here, I don't know. Call it the brownies invaded my mind. Muahhahaa. No really. Anyway, review this piecfe of Slayers First Litany. Maybe, when my mind isn't so vague and jaded, I'll try something more happier. ^_- 


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